We have had so many people asking questions (or maybe afraid to ask questions) since we announced our plan to adopt. Hopefully this post answers some of the main ones! If you are wondering about anything else, please feel free to reach out to us. We are very open about our journey and would love to help others understand the crazy world of adoption a little bit better. (That being said, we’re total newbies, so take it all for what it’s worth!)
What kind of kid are you looking for?
This is a great question! A lot of people feel pretty awkward asking, but it is an important part of the whole process. Right now, we are looking for an infant, preferably newborn. Other than that, we are not really limiting ourselves; we are open to any race/ethnicity, boy/girl, multiples, etc.
How does the process work?
It works a little differently for everyone, but we’ll try to explain according to our understanding and expectations.
Right now, we have decided no to use an adoption agency, in favor of adopting privately. There are pros and cons to each method, but we feel that private is what’s best for us at this point. What that means is that we are pretty much just putting ourselves and our information out there, and hoping to make a connection with an expectant mother. This will likely happen through a friend of a friend, social media, or word of mouth. This means that it could take us two weeks or two years to find the baby that Heavenly Father has in store for us—a little hard to prepare for, but we know He’s orchestrating all of it!
Yep! As we learned at a recent seminar, ~95% of adoptions in the U.S. are open. Now, the degree of openness varies from solely getting family history and health background, to regular visits and contact. We are excited by the idea of having an open adoption; we would love for our child to have as many people love him/her as possible. We look forward to getting to know a birth family and building this unique kind of relationship.
Have you considered fostering or embryo adoption?
Absolutely! We have considered a lot of options, and nothing is off the table for us, but we feel directed toward infant adoption right now. We definitely want to have more than just one child, so we are keeping an open mind for the future!
How can we help?
We have been so incredibly overwhelmed by the love and support that we have felt from family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers. It is humbling to realize that we cannot accomplish this on our own; growing our family is going to take a whole lot of help. First and foremost, we ask for your thoughts and prayers and positive vibes. We feel them, even from far away.
The next best thing is to keep your ears to the ground. It’s been amazing to hear the unlikely stories of how adoptive parents and birth parents come into contact with each other; you could be the link between us and our family that is out there somewhere! Similarly, we would love for you to like, comment on, and share our social media posts; the more interaction we get on our posts, the more people they reach, and the higher likelihood that we find our expectant mother and baby.
Finally, adoption is very expensive. We do not in any way want to hit people up for money, but we have had many friends and family reach out since our recent fundraiser. If you would like to contribute monetarily, we are accepting donations through @becksteadbabyjourney on Venmo.